I have been trying to deliver this topic during my NEC session for the last three weeks, but more important messages kept cropping up. Hence, I have no choice but to deliver it here. As a bonus, I am going to give you 5 more things that you should not say as well.

Technically, there is actually nothing we cannot say. But whatever we say will always have a consequence and the following examples are those that I feel will not add any good or credibility to your presence in BNI. The 10 (5 plus 5 bonus) examples are all real examples that I have collected during my participation in BNI.

Counting down from number 10 to the top things we should not or cannot say in BNI:

#10.     “ooo…I am only early because I have to drop off my children or I am in the setup team.” There is nothing majorly wrong with this statement, but it doesn’t add any credit at the same time. Being early to meeting is supposed to be something that we should be proud of. So when we receive a compliment for being one the earliest, we should receive it gracefully. Suggestion: “Yes! I am excited to come for our meeting and give referrals to my friends!”

#9.       “I was not here last week…” Please don’t remind us! Missing the meeting is bad enough, so please don’t remind us or let the visitors think that you are not as committed as others. Attendance is the most critical factor to the success of the BNI system. It represents our commitment and relationship. Suggestion: Don’t say it!

#8.       “I don’t need any referral today.” This statement is not only arrogant, but also implies that you don’t understand how referral marketing works. Imagine, when we farm on a piece of land, is there a day that we can skip watering or harvesting? Suggestion: If you can’t cope with an instant referral, ask for a long term or dream referral then.

#7.       “Sorry, I don’t have any referral today.” Why apologize? There is absolutely nothing wrong for not having any referral for the day. The question is whether we have the heart to help our fellow members to look out for their referral. Again, please don’t remind or highlight to us of what you do not have. Suggestion: “I have a testimony today!”

#6.       “Please refer yourself to me…” In other words, isn’t that hunting? It is already questionable if self referral is considered as a referral, yet we have people asking for it. Suggestion: Be smart. Ask for a specific group of prospect referral that fits the profile of fellow members. E.g. “Please refer me to business owners who…”

#5.       “Please refer me to anybody or everybody…” This is a given one. Any BNI members still ask for anybody or everybody needs to be expelled instantly. Suggestion: We must be specific of who we looking for. The more specific we are, the easier it is for our fellow members to help us.

#4.       “I do or sell everything…” This is not only against the idea of representing one classification in BNI, but also, in my opinion, digging a grave for ourselves in BNI. Nobody will remember a jack of all trades, but will surely remember an expert or the best of a specific product or service. In addition, I have also personally seen many who claim to be able to do everything end up trying too hard to deliver, fumbled and end up with more bad credibility. Suggestion: “I am the best or expert in…”

#3.       “Don’t waste your time to participate in the workshops or conference or chapter activities…” This statement usually comes from slightly more seasoned members who think they know the system better than anyone else. It is not only subjective and bias, but also a negative influence. A good member should be supportive and positive at all times. Being negative certainly adds no credit to anyone. Suggestion: Be constructive when giving personal opinion. “You will get more out of the workshop or conference, if you do this or that before or during the event…”

#2.       “Mr. X (fellow member) service is not good…he screwed up my project the last time.” This statement happens between members after a bad experience from another. Badmouthing is not professional and does no good to both parties and the chapter as a whole. We are proud to have good members and shame to have bad members. So why would we want to defame our own members? Instead we should practice open communication and assist the member to improve. Suggestion: Feedback directly to the particular member or raise the issue to the Membership Coordinator of the chapter.

#1.       “If so-and-so doesn’t leave the chapter, I will leave and I will bring a few members along with me!” This is probably rare, but it is real and needless to say extremely damaging to the entire team.  It is basically starting politics within the group. Suggestion: Just leave!

Coincidentally, Dr Ivan Misner wrote about “Everyone Should Talk About Politics and Religion in BNI” in the latest Successnet newsletter (http://successnet.czcommunity.com/from-the-founder/everyone-in-bni-should-talk-about-politics-and-religion/6689/), which is a good add on to my list.

Written by Roger Kerk, BNI United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)

rogerkerk@gmail.com

When exposed to giving referrals for the first time, most people are very excited and confident about it. Minority gets worried and not sure how to do so. But whether you are the first or second type, many ended giving more self referrals than real so-called external referrals, at least for start.
So, is self referral considered as a referral? Yes and No. “Yes” because it is still business to the receiver. The receiver wouldn’t care if it is internal (self) or external referrals as long as there are business to be done. “No” because that is not exactly what referral marketing is all about. In a genuine referral, there should be a third party or at least a triangular relationship involved.

In a normal circumstance, a referral is possible if one has tried the product or service, finds it good and decided to recommend to someone else who have the similar need or demand. In a not so friendly or niche situation in most cases, it should involve one educating another of who he/she is specifically looking for as a client and is suggested or recommended to the desired prospect.

It is probably much easier in the first scenario. But in the second scenario, where it is highly possible when the product or service is not for the mass public, it will take a bit more effort in educating another and for the other to take actual action in giving the referral. Hence, you can see that it is actually not an easy or natural process if you would like to rely on referral marketing. There needs to be necessary efforts in place for an external referral to take place.

First of all, the relationship between the two must be in place. If there is no relationship, there will be no desire to assist each other. Secondly, the education needs to be done correctly, consistently and, most important of all, specifically on who do we desire to be introduced to. Then, it now depends on who we reply as a giver to have the habit of hearing or seeking out for our desired prospect. In short, it takes two to make it work.

To give a referral is a habit; to receive we must be specific.

As a giver, what specific habits do we need to have?
1. Habit to be educated about the product or service
2. Habit of listening and remembering the desired prospect; take notes if necessary
3. Habit of hearing or seeking out for the desired prospect
4. Habit of sharing with more people about what you know
5. Habit to help others or provide solutions with their problems or situation; it is important to have an image of being resourceful and as a solution provider

Written by Roger Kerk, BNI United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)
rogerkerk@gmail.com

We may be very good in our profession or we do the best presentation for our business, but it is still not enough to assure us endless referrals and 100% sales closure. On the other hand, some people are not very good in what they do and always do lousy presentations or sales pitches, yet they get endless referrals and clients love them. Why?

The answer is simple. They are simply more likable as a person. We are all dealing with humans after all. And most humans are emotional in some ways or another. We all do. The success of advertising and branding can proof to all of us on how emotions play a role in consumers buying behavior.

Hence, being likable is an important factor for us to receive referrals. Referrals are derived from friends or clients who like us. Referral doesn’t come by accident. It is a privilege from people who like us. We may be good in providing our service or product to our clients, but the clients are not obligated to share “us” with their friends or contacts.

So, have you ever asked how likable you actually are? It is actually quite a tough question to answer. Because the social value is always changing and why people like us may depends on our commonality in our brought up or personality, certain things are not within our control. For example, it used to be an issue and totally unacceptable for woman to be a senior manager, but of course today it is actually no longer an issue. So, we must understand that whatever we like today may not be relevant as the society evolves.

In addition, a person’s likability depends on his/her brought up that forms his/her personality which most of the time cannot be changed overnight. So, no matter what we suggest or attempt to be more likable, it must be driven from our heart to change for the better. It is not something that we can pretend to be.

Here are 5 suggestions of how we can be more likable in a business environment:

1. Be professional. Any client would like to deal with a professional businessperson. Who doesn’t? Obviously being timely, ethical and responsible are important in any profession.
2. Be sensible. Who likes to deal with someone who doesn’t make sense or his/her mind is always seems to be in la-la-land. Of course we need to make sense when we social or converse.
3. Be positive. Again, do you prefer a gloomy person who absorb all your energy or a sunshine person who always have endless energy and cheer to give? Begin by smiling a whole lot from your heart today! Always be prepared to help the people around us without asking for a return.
4. Be sensitive and open minded. When one is not ready to listen and receive, the person is also not ready to give. When we are not fit to give, we are also not fit to receive. Nobody likes an arrogant thick skull who thinks he/she knows everything, no matter how expert the person may be. Respect and humble will certainly gain an expert more respect and applause.
5. Be real. No matter what we do, we must still be ourselves. Be likable from our heart. Only by changing from our heart we can be honest and consistent. And everyone likes an honest and authentic person, even if he/she was a liar. I guess the “cheating” Bill Clinton was one of the best and worst examples. In today’s society, the general public tends to accept that nobody is perfect and as long as you are honest about your shortfall, you are just as likable as another.

Written by Roger Kerk, BNI United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)
rogerkerk@gmail.com

Whether you like to call it a mastermind group (by Napoleon Hill) or a strategic business alliance or collaboration, a power team basically leverage on like-minded and synergistic members towards a common goal. The basis for a power team to work is the relationship among the fellow team members. As emphasized in my earlier blog post that the relationship determines the magic a power team can produce.

There are generally two forms of power team formation: 1. Sunshine and 2. Spiral

In a Sunshine formation, the power team members are formed by other professions targeting at the same target market as your business. See diagram below as an example.

Chances are that the same target market requires these services or products concurrently. Hence, when one see a client, he/she can introduce the rest of the members’ services or products.

As for a Spiral formation, the same target market may require the various profession at a different stage or time. See example in the diagram below.

A newlywed couple may have immediate wedding needs, but eventually housing, insurance, investment, medical follow by children needs. At different stage of life, the target market has different needs. Hence, if the power team understands the possible sequence of needs that the target market is seeking for, the members can easily pass referrals to each other like passing a relay baton.

A power team can not only aim for a similar target market, but also take a step further into forming a joint proposal or sales presentation each time they meet a prospect client. Introducing as a powerful group shows the strength as a group. In between, you may also leverage on each other’s credential and good reputation.

Other activities that a power team can do include organizing joint events, such as business forum, seminars, exhibition, roadshow, etc. Instead of organizing and bearing the cost all by yourself, consider sharing the cost and responsibility with a power team.

Good luck power teaming!

Written by Roger Kerk, BNI United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)

rogerkerk@gmail.com

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”

This saying rings true in every aspect of our lives from our personal to our working lives. Successful businesses are built on many things and of key importance are the relationships founded over time.

Many believe that success is achieved through a combination of talent and hard work and whilst that holds some truth, talent and hard work will only get you so far. If your circle of influence is limited to a scattered few, then you are effectively limiting the ability of your business to reach the next level.

That’s not to say that quality and good workmanship don’t play a part. On the contrary, they are integral to your long term business success. But how much easier would it be if the people you knew, because of the relationship you had built and the trust you had formed, recommended you to their friends, family, work colleagues and acquaintances? And how much would you achieve, if these people also did the same through their circle of influence? It’s like the miracle of compound interest.

A very successful businessman, when asked for advice, said;  “Make it a point to get to know one new person every week”
You never know, that person could very well open the doors to your next golden opportunity and better still, you gain a friend in the process. Whilst there are no ‘shortcuts’ to success, there are certainly ways to fast track.

Written by Maichi Tran, BNI United Wordsmith – maichi@foodmatters.co.jp

Whether it is at home or at work or at any social activities, it is all about relationship. Especially in networking. Our relationship with the people around us makes all the difference. We all feel uncomfortable to a certain degree when we are surrounded by strangers or people we have no relationship with.

So, what forms a relationship? The basis of any relationship is “care”. Depending on the depth of the relationship, we care at a different depth too. The more we care, the stronger the relationship. When we love our children, they can feel it. When we care for our clients or colleagues at work, the relationship will be stronger too.

Have you ever worked for someone who doesn’t care about you but just the work? How do you think your supplier and staff or colleague will feel about working with you, if they know that you care for their well being at the same time? They will feel great and motivated! When they feel great, they will work with their heart.

With the clients, they will be loyal. Clients will turn friends and possible partners, when you show more care than others.

Look into the history of leaders in any civilization. You will find a commonality and that is only those leaders with a “care” policy live long as a leader and leaves as a legend. A great leader always cares more than others.

Let us start caring a bit deeper of all the people around us and soon we will be surrounded by great relationships! And life can only be greater than great when we are surrounded by great relationships!

Written by Roger Kerk, BNI United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)

rogerkerk@gmail.com

What comes to your mind when you see the word “team”? For some reason the immediate image that comes to most minds is a group working together with a leader leading the pack. The team leader directs and the followers follow as close as possible or work as well as possible with each other. You may consider this as a team. The effectiveness of this team relies mainly on the ability of the team leader.

Consider the following attributes of a good leader: the ability to make good decisions, sees the big picture, has candor, good communication skills, disciplined, committed, responsible, involves in the action, takes initiative and most importantly cares about his/her team members. Now consider: what are the attributes of a really good member? Do you see a similar list of attributes as above?

Now, imagine a team of leaders, each knowing their role, effective communication among each other, take ownership of their roles and responsibilities, they care for each other, etc. Do you see a close to perfect team?

Hence, a team should be formed by leaders and not followers.

It is important that being in a team, one must start seeing himself/herself as a leader within the team and not a follower. By having this mindset of being a leader within the team, this member will indeed be able to contribute most to the team.

Being a leader is not an appointment. It is a choice. It is not a title. It is an action. An act that the people around you will be influenced and inspired by you!

Written by Roger Kerk, United NEC (Oct 2010~March 2011)

rogerkerk@gmail.com

This was a headline in Yahoo! Malaysia 7 Sep 2010.

Business owners must engage proper labour to assist them in their work!

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